01
Choose Your Reviewer
Dog or cat. Management has arrived.
Pet Parent Performance Review
Your parenting skills. According to your pet.
Take a free 5-question performance review and find out how your dog or cat rates your household management.
Free personalized result · Optional Reviewed & Sealed certificate
How it works
A formal review from household management.
Your dog or cat evaluates your performance as a pet parent through a humorous five-question review.
02
Take the Review
Five quick questions about life under your pet’s supervision.
03
Get Your Free Evaluation
See your score, Household Authority, Pet Parent Type, commendation, citation, and signed pet comment.
04
Make It Official
Upgrade to a personalized Reviewed & Sealed certificate you can save, print, and hang.
The free result
Your personalized evaluation.
The review itself is free. You’ll leave with a complete set of findings — polished enough to screenshot, pointed enough to reconsider the treat budget.
Pet Parent Score
Your overall performance rating under pet supervision.
Household Authority
How much of the house you still appear to control.
Pet Parent Type
Your official classification — negotiated by management.
Signed Pet Comment
A brief note from the reviewer of record.
Official Commendation
What you somehow did right.
Performance Citation
What requires immediate behavioral correction.
Certificate Preview
Shown with an example pet photo.
Add your pet’s photo, or choose a no-photo version.
Reviewed & Sealed
Make It Official.
Turn your review into a personalized premium certificate with your name, your pet’s name, score, review results, and optional pet photo. The certificate is the keepsake — not the whole product.
$3.99 · one-time purchase
- Personalized review details
- Optional pet photo
- Print-ready PDF + PNG
Available as an optional upgrade in the iOS app through Apple’s in-app purchase system. No subscription.
An official evaluation from household management.
Certified Pet Parent is humorous satire dressed as an official evaluation. Your pet conducts the review. You receive the findings. Household policy remains under reconsideration.
Premium enough to hang. Funny enough to share.
